Could I please just this once see your plan? Please?

*Sigh* There's a reason this blog is titled I guess you CAN'T plan life. It's because you can't. Lately things around here have been really up in the air. Jerry and I were informed that Heather, his ex-wife, would be moving to Branson, Missouri at the end of the month. She will be taking Trey and Jaeden with her unless they decide they want to live here. Jerry and I are both very very sad. It's hard to be a parent. Being a step-parent just might be harder... You don't want to step on toes and you have no legal rights. But you feel like you should. I feel like I should. I have sat up with them both when they have had nightmares. I have rubbed their backs while they were sick and hugging the toilet. I have bought their Christmas and birthday presents, done their laundry, cooked their meals, cheered for them, wept for them, yelled at them, supported them, kissed their boo boos, tucked them in, woken them up, failed them, been there for them, bored them to tears and entertained them. I have loved them. I have mothered them. I am not their mother. Legally, I am no one. I wish there was something I could do to keep them here. Jaeden is wavering with his decision. He really wants to stay and live with us, but he also really doesn't want to leave Trey. This is a huge decision and I'm so sorry he's been faced with it so early. No child should have to make such a difficult choice. I know it happens a lot, but I've never had to be a part of the process. This sucks. Trey is certain he wants to be with his mother. I'm very sad to see him go, but I feel that he belongs with her. They have a very close and special bond. Just like Jaeden has a very close and special bond with Jerry. Let me just say they may be 2 of the luckiest people on the planet. They both have so many people who love them and want to be with them. I would hate to see them split up, even though it may actually be what's best for them. This is such a hard thing. No one tells you how to handle these situations. There's no manual on how to ask children to "pick their parent". At this exact moment, Jaeden wants to stay with us (A new development as of last night). I'm doing my best not to get excited. He could change his mind any second and it's killing me. Watching Jerry have to go through this is really tough. He's remaining strong as ever, but I can see it's hurting him too. There have been many tears over the past few weeks and I don't know that they'll dry up any time soon. Waiting may be the hardest part. I trust the Lord has a plan. I trust this is for His purpose. I wish I knew what the plan was... It would certainly make this easier!